Every parent knows that when their children go through adolescence things change around the house. Adolescence is a period of rapid change in the life of a child and of the family that the child lives in. Many families experience huge amounts of turmoil as their children pass through the teenage years. Parents could, and reasonably so, describe adolescence as a period of temporary insanity. What influences adolescents at this time in their lives and how can you as a parent understand their world?
Hormonal changes in the adolescent body bring about sudden, dramatic changes in their physical bodies and in their ability to reason. Hormones cause rapid growth spurts in teens that not only bring about larger physical features but also the mature development of their sexual and reproductive organs. Along with all of those changes, adolescents find themselves with new physical strengths and abilities. Sexual development brings with it a new interest in the opposite sex. This can occupy much of a young person’s thought life as they discover new ways to interact with and catch the attention of the opposite sex that a few months earlier were of no interest to them.
During the teen years, peers become much more important than ever before. Adolescents want to fit in, they want to be part of the crowd and they want to feel popular. You will notice that they often adjust their dress, speech, and taste in music and more just to become more acceptable to others of their own age group. In addition to this, your teen will probably want to spend more time hanging out with their friends. Friends can suddenly have a huge influence over your child during adolescence. If you want to keep some level of control over the influence other teens have over your child, don’t stop your child from being with their friends. Instead, get to know your children’s friends, allow them to visit and feel welcome in your home. The more you see of them, the more it helps you monitor their activities.
Music, media and television are each factors that have a strong influence over teens, as with the rest of the population. Media programming and music that are directly aimed at influencing youth can affect the way your children dress, speak and even the things that they buy. In fact, the music on your child’s iPod will most likely have a heavily influence on the way they think. This does not however have to lead to paranoia on your part, try to balance out your child’s collection by buying them milder forms of music to listen to as well. They will listen to them when they need a change.
Although adolescence is often a time of extremes, whether that be mood swings, behavior or dress sense, parents do not necessarily need to panic when they see big changes in their children. It is important to learn as much as you can about the adolescent stage of life and coping with it as a parent. Although your children may flirt with things that seem scary and extreme to you, they will most likely naturally come back to center. It will not be very long before they have successfully passed through the teenage years and have turned back into the wonderful human being that you love and remember. Continue to hug them throughout the teen years, even when they screw up their faces and act as though they don’t like it. They still need those hugs no matter how big they have got.
Posts Tagged ‘Adolescence’
What Influences Your Adolescent?
December 18th, 2009From Infancy to Adolescence
December 16th, 2009From Infancy to Adolescence by Viola Morgan From infancy to adolescence, environmental influences play a major role in the development of our personality. Similar to animals, our social adaptation is stemmed through the process of observational learning. Therefore we can conclude that most children act on how they see their parents act. If a child happens to see their mother or father drinking wine out of a glass, he or she will probably want to do the same. If a child sees his or her father abusing his or her mother, it’s probable that the child will grow to have an aggressive behavior. Or even, if a child sees his or her mother painting the wall, the child, not knowing any better, will most likely pick up his or her crayon and color the wall. While some parents respond positively to their child’s misbehavior, other parents act negatively, hitting and scolding their child. This is the worst thing to do to a child, for it is the parent’s fault. A child’s brain is not fully developed until he or she, at least, reaches puberty; so a child finds it hard to discriminate between ‘what is right and what is wrong’. The most popular method of teaching a child ‘right from wrong’ is through punishment. For years, many children have been spanked and severely abused for their misbehavior; but, what many parents do not realize is that punishment is just a temporary suppression of a child’s bad behavior. Author David G. Meyers, also a well-known psychologist, affirmed this in his evaluations with children. For example, a child who learns through spankings not to swear around the house may swear elsewhere. Or, if a child is spanked for accidentally saying a curse word, the child will begin to curse more regularly elsewhere. Therefore, punishment increases a child’s aggressiveness by showing that aggression is a way to cope with problems. It can also create fear, and build feelings of helplessness and depression in a child. The best way to begin to raise a newborn child is to first develop an intense bond with the child through body contact, such as cradling and holding. The more sensitive and responsive a parent is, the more his or her child will become securely attached. Most securely attached children approach life with a sense of basic trust – a sense that the world is predictable and reliable; so a child who will let his or her parents leave is a child who trusts they will return. Those children with loving, sensitive parents will form a life-long attitude of trust rather than fear. From ages 1 to 3, when a child is learning to speak and comprehend speech, parents should teach their child that No means No. Parents must make their children believe that they are the authority; but again, avoid punishment. Punishment doesn’t stop the misbehavior; it just temporarily prolongs it. Instead, parents should show their child what is the right thing to do. For example, when a 3 year old child picks up his or her crayon to color the wall because he or she sees their parent painting the wall, the parent mustn’t scold and hit their child; instead, lift up the index finger and say the word “No” then pull out a piece of paper or coloring book and direct their child to color with their crayon on there. Any normal child can understand the word “No”; meaning “Bad Thing. Not Good. I Made A Boo Boo.” Babies become more familiar with the word when they hear it from their parent’s mouth. As a result, throughout the child’s development, he or she will learn that they cannot get everything they want and they cannot just do anything they want. While developing from a child to an adolescent, parents should give positive feedback and rewards to their children for their good behavior. This also helps shape a child. The more the child sees that he or she is rewarded, the more he or she will most likely continue their positive behavior. They will learn that in order to gain something, one must first earn it. This will prepare them for the competitive world of today and for the future. In the adolescent stage, the time of transition, there is an onset of rapid growth, developing sexual maturity and a need for social independence. As teenagers, they yearn to know who they are; what’s their purpose and role in the world; and what special qualities and uniqueness they possess. Most parents, during these teen years, act negatively and are overprotective of their teen because they fear that, as a result of their teen’s confusion, their teen will get into drugs, possibly get pregnant, or drop out of school. Because of the lack of trust, most parent-child relationships grow distant. There is no longer a bond between the child and the parent. That is why parents must be open-minded, encouraging, and understanding. Teach the child to be a leader, tell him or her about sex and the consequences of it, and teach the child that there is no one perfect in this world; we all make mistakes. Tell the child some of your past mistakes so they can understand what you mean. Hopefully, in the end, you will have raised your son or daughter successfully. As an adult, they can look back on their childhood and say “My father and mother were the best parents a child like me could ever have. They taught me everything I needed to know in life.” And, when they have their children, they will use the same child-rearing method you used. ©copyright 2008 Viola Morgan. All rights reserved. Viola Morgan is the editor and publisher of RisingSunBooks.org – Blog – Parenting Children and Executive Director of RisingSunBooks.org. She lives in Stamford, CT and is continuously raising awareness and providing solutions to family & relationships issues through selected best-selling books, articles and links, and through the sharing of her own personal experiences as a mother, veteran, and freelance journalist.
Wordpress Autoblog Software
Adolescent Psychology and the Media
December 16th, 2009Parenting has often been referred to as life’s most difficult job, and it seems as though in recent years, this job has become increasingly more rigorous. Technological developments in recent years have given rise to novel methods for children and adults to access information. Many of these advancements are aimed specifically at the youth culture, though are responsible for a gradual transformation of the entire culture at large. Adults however, often seem a step slow in recognizing the magnitude that these new innovations will have upon all of our lives and the lives of today’s children.In the United States in general, but especially here in Los Angeles, the media is extremely influential in our lives. Today, given the meteoric rise in the accessibility of new technology, more information is currently available for public consumption than at any other time in history. Children and adolescents are especially impressionable and often crave what Heinz Kohut termed “selfobjects” in order to help cope with the psychological rigors of youth. This hunger for connection to someone or something that feels bigger than one’s self is a normal psychological process, however in today’s media dominated culture in Los Angeles, pre-teens and adolescents seem especially vulnerable to potentially destructive influences…A 1995 study at the University of Maryland studied the phenomenon of the idealization of celebrities amongst several cohorts of teen and pre-teen groups including kids 10-11, 12-13, 14-15 and 16-17. The study produced results indicating that each group evidenced some degree of idolization and modeling behavior related to the media created celebrities that were included in the study. The highest degree of idolization and modeling behavior however was noted in the age group of 10-11 year olds. The study suggests that idolization is a developmentally appropriate response to being a child, and certainly this is as true today as it has ever been. This psychological phenomenon was termed ‘narcissistic idealism’ by Kohut who believed that adolescents engaged in this process in order to compensate for the narcissistic injury of the inevitable failure of one’s parents to live up to their child’s lofty needs and desires. According to Kohut, this compensatory process of idealization thus becomes necessary to fill the void left by our parent’s failures to be superhuman. An adolescent’s focus for new compensatory selfobjects quite naturally turns to the bigger than life personas of celebrities who are often anointed by society, especially here in Los Angeles, as god-like in nature.This process of idolizing celebrities is certainly not specific to today’s culture. Television played a large role in America’s obsession with the Beatles in the 1960’s, creating an unprecedented wave of teenage idol worship at the time. Arguably there has since been no indication that a teenager’s hero worship of the Beatles in the 1960’s produced any negative psychological consequences, but the climate in today’s celebrity obsessed Los Angeles seems to present greater dangers. The ability of the internet to promulgate information that reaches millions instantly has created a scenario where adults and adolescents are inundated with the seductive pull of salacious celebrity gossip. One can now access this type of information without even intending to. A trip to seemingly any grocery or convenience store is culminated by the familiar sight of big, glossy magazines advertising the misbehavior of the newest young star or starlet. This information has always been accessible, though in the past it was often relegated to appear in the same publications that detailed the latest alien abduction or Elvis sighting. It seems that in today’s media driven culture, celebrity news is desired by the masses to such an extent that at least five different magazines, two entire cable channels and several more primetime television shows on major, public networks are all devoted to the goal of feeding the collective, insatiable hunger for news on celebrities. More often than not this news focuses on celebrities who have fallen from grace.The widespread infectious nature of this public desire for celebrity seems all too acceptable here in Los Angeles where celebrities, paparazzi, and civilians breathe the same air and walk the same streets. Entertainment is a major aspect of the fabric of our culture which was built on the desire to be rich and famous and the need to be entertained. As a culture we devour and consume information in order to feed this need for constant entertainment which seems to be both supplied and created by the media. This hunger for entertainment seems to be most pronounced amongst adolescents who are driven toward the egocentric filling of selfobject needs. Those who engage in the compensatory narcissistic idealism that Kohut described seem most likely to be impacted by our media crazed culture in which one can easily discover what parties their favorite young celebrity attended last night, what they drank, ingested, inhaled or injected, and who they spent the night with. The celebrity party lifestyle is of course nothing new to the average person’s awareness, but the video, photos and detailed blogs of each celebrity’s own egocentric gratification of his or her own needs through sex, drugs and alcohol are novel. A potential danger of the normalization of this behavior is that celebrities today essentially live in a consequence-free environment, protected from real life consequences by their own aura, mystique and wealth. The average adolescent may feel invincible, but of course is not immune to the very real ramifications of the potential emulation of their favorite hero’s behavior. Children may not try everything they see on television, but 1995’s study at the University of Maryland indicates that late latency aged children and early adolescents are most prone to engage in the behaviors normalized by their idols.The potential impact of the idealization of today’s celebrities by today’s youth will only be identified years down the road, but one can now at least speculate that the burden in aiding adolescents in Los Angeles today to deal with these issues will fall upon both parents and therapists to face the massive, potentially negative influence of the media in our culture today.
Wordpress Autoblog Plugin
