Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’

Sexuality and Making Love Worldwide – 6

December 11th, 2009

Hasan A. Yahya, Ph.D

This article describes religious and  cultural sexual practices:  No government or official law on human rights are respected or secured in love cases leads to adultery in the Arab and Muslim world. So it might be excusable for ancient people to act like as they did. Love is blind as they say, but temptations to commit adultery is punishable. Old stories of Romeo and Juliet, Antar and Abla, Qays and Laila, and Jamil and Buthainah, many centuries old stories of history these days.  In the modern world with a high tech civilization, and interaction through media and education and cultural diffusion, it is not excusable to do it according to Arabic and Islamic ethics. A Saudi man do not allow women to have a freedom, negates cultural norms. Some women’s activists call for women in Saudi Arabia the right to drive their cars alone. What do you expect from a culture respects honor and perceive women as weak persons, need always men or familial protection? In Saudi Arabia, if a woman is not allowed to drive, or to vote, or to go outside alone, or to talk with unrelated men and etc, it does not mean that they prohibit them from loving each other, no one can stand in the face of love, because love is incited by God, and God makes people love each other, but when love became illegal love, negate cultural norms, then killing  people who love each other and committed adultery is suitable punishment culturally. There is no dating as Americans way of life. These adultery activities are prohibited in both Arab and Islamic countries. Saudi like to watch the execution of such penalties, they often come from far away just for seeing these acts. In these days, westerners do not admit such acts and describe them as just uneducated savages actions against human rights, but not modern people who call themselves Muslims  their families appreciate such acts.(331 words). www.hasanyahya.com

Hasan Yahya is an American Arab scholar, and a professor of sociology. He published 27 plus books and 212 plus articles on sociology, sexuality, psychology, politics, poetry, IQ Test Measurement and short stories in both Arabic and English. His articles may be found on articlesbase.com, Face book and other internet sites. His books published on Amazon titled: Crescentology: Theory C. of Conflict Management, Lawlaki: Lawlaki Poetry Diwan, 2000 Bayt Min al-Shi’r al-Arabi (from Emri’ al-Qays to Nizar Qabbani) ,Zawjatu al-Sultan, and al-Zawaj fil-‘Alam, all in Arabic.(On Amazon, 2009). His recent activities reflects his talents and knowledge on youtube’s Dr.Yahya Channel TV videos under the name of askdryahya.
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Sexuality and Making Love Worldwide – 11

December 10th, 2009

Hasan A. Yahya, Ph.D

This article is about parenting In the Arab and Muslim world, also related to sexuality.: In the Parenting an Arab and Muslim girl, parents give girls everything they wanted. They treat them sincerely and kindly. And when they were at the right age, the family chose a good husband for her, in what called in sociology, arranged marriages which is popular in the Arab and Muslim world. a good man, the family knows.  But some young ladies had ideas of their own. Therefore, they rebelled. They have choices: one is to refuse the proposed person. And deny fulfilling the marriage contract. Or for other reason such as going to complete their education at the university in local or far communities. May be other countries differ from the place of origin. If they are married, they usually did not love the selected  husband who was forced on her at the beginning. In Saudi Arabia, and many other Muslim and Arab countries,  woman still should not be allowed to raise her voice. They call it “Awrah”, a “shameful act” by women to raise their voice when men are present.  A woman is considered of a “lower, inferior sex” by choice, some say, because the Islamic culture promotes certain ethics in terms of women behavior. That she should not act like a man. The man is the master, or the over hand in marriage or in the family, a young brother can control his elder sister, this is common in Arab and Muslim countries. As she’s the wife, not the slave as some people like to say. Soon after a woman  marriage she usually live in the extended family, but these days the newly married couple have their own house. They may leave to other community as we said,  and fell in love in that different environment.  No girl or boy may fall in love “deliberately.”  Even a veiled woman, but women usually conceal their love from family. It is sometimes told to close female friends.  Lover in Arab and Muslim world become in danger position, some people consider love as illegal and forbidden. But lovers may die for their love. They may sacrifice themselves for the lover safety. (378 words) www.hasanyahya.com

 

Hasan Yahya is an American Arab scholar, and a professor of sociology. He published 27 plus books and 212 plus articles on sociology, sexuality, psychology, politics, poetry, IQ Test Measurement and short stories in both Arabic and English. His articles may be found on articlesbase.com, Face book and other internet sites. His books published on Amazon titled: Crescentology: Theory C. of Conflict Management, Lawlaki: Lawlaki Poetry Diwan, 2000 Bayt Min al-Shi’r al-Arabi (from Emri’ al-Qays to Nizar Qabbani) ,Zawjatu al-Sultan, and al-Zawaj fil-‘Alam, all in Arabic.(On Amazon, 2009). His recent activities reflects his talents and knowledge on youtube’s Dr.Yahya Channel TV videos under the name of askdryahya.
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Sexuality and First Time Dating – One

December 10th, 2009

Hasan A. Yahya, Ph.Ds

What questions pup up in your mind: What should I do in the first Date? In psychology we learn that, if you were a boy or girl then your answer will vary drastically, girls look inside to themselves , boys, however, look for outside themselves for answers.

Psychology tells us that certain variables determine the answers. For example, age, sex, race, religion, marital status, education, wealth, etc., While most first dates come early in high schools, we will answer the question through that age, which is roughly between 12 and 18. In America, teenagers learn about dating from friends, media,  and by reading about it. They have answers according to their knowledge. But really, what should I wear, pups-up in the minds of girls, in other words, how I look, or should I look in the first date? But this is not the proper question to ask. A self control, and self conscious girl, may ask other questions about perfume, dress, but what you need to ask in the first date is: Do I know my partner?

This question makes you prepare certain question to know more about the guy or girl. Statement  like: tell me about your self, what you like, and how do feel? Something like that. The purpose of course is to know more about your partner, but if you know him for more than three months, and you know him very well, because he’s or she’s in you school, or your class, or your neighborhood, your questions should be about something else. For example, how generous I should be, how much permissive I should be dealing with certain questions about sex? About your secrets, which you want to keep for yourself. You don’t know whether the date will be successful or not. 

Suppose talking about oneself in the first date, you have to be a good listener, and alert to follow up with questions about certain words, or feelings. Some interesting points, like, how is that? Why do you think so? Or I like this, say it again. Laugh on his jokes, but not to show that you are making laughs out of contest. 

A boy or a girl likes to show kindness, concern to please each other, and both will be conservatives in their behavior, especially showing their bad qualities. So advice to both girls and boys in their first date can be suggested here:

The question which is often not asked from girls is, what are the expectations or the consequences of the first time dating? The answer for this question will be the subject of next article.  Happy dating time, folks. (642 words) www.hasanyahya.com

Hasan Yahya is an American Arab scholar, and a professor of sociology. He published 27 plus books and 200 plus articles on sociology, psychology, politics, poetry, IQ Test Measurement and short stories in both Arabic and English. His articles may be found on articlesbase.com, Face book and other internet sites. His recent book published on Amazon titled: Legal Adultery: Sexuality & World Cultures. (English) and Lawlaki: Lawlaki Poetry Diwan, Tales and articles, 2000 Bayt Min al-Shi’r al-Arabi. (Arabic). His recent book: Legal Adultery: Sexuality & World Cultures-English (On amazon- 2009). His recent activities reflects his talents and knowledge on youtube’s Dr. Yahya TV under the name of askdryahya. Dr. Yahya resides in Michigan, USA.
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Teens and Sex How To Talk To Them About Sexuality

November 22nd, 2009

Sex is the last thing a parent wants to hear coming out of their children’s mouth. It is a nightmare and an unwanted thought when thinking about your child and sex at the same time. As they get older, there are some curious thoughts that go through their mind. Frightening as it sounds; communication is the key between you and your child when it comes to sexuality. We as parents cannot be there for out children 24 hours a day, all we can do is instill some experience and knowledge into their minds and hope it guides them intellectually to the right decisions in life.When you child approaches you about sex, take a deep breath, it can be an unnerving and an uncomfortable feeling… It’s not going to be easy at first, but in the end, you will feel better about talking about it. Ask your teen what lead them to ask you this question. If they tell you that someone they have interest in has brought it to their attention, then it is ok. Hopefully they have not done anything yet. With the way society is with our kids growing up in it, peer pressure can be a bit overwhelming and more likely some teens might give in to it.Explain to them that their body is a precious temple, keeping it pure and maintaining their virginity is a very rare and special thing. State that even though they might be thinking about doing it; they are simply too young for such an experience and the best thing to do is to wait until they are older and more mature. Inform them that just because you have feelings for someone it doesn’t necessarily have to be any sexual involvement, that there are consequences when having sex and even though your teen might think they know all about it, there is always more to tell.Unprotected sex can lead to you contracting a sexually transmitted disease, like gonorrhea that can cause inflammation of the genital mucous membrane, burning pain when urinating, and a discharge. It is caused by a gonococcus bacterium. Another disease to worry about is PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) an inflammation of a woman’s reproductive organs in the pelvic area, which can cause infertility. Syphilis is a serious sexually transmitted disease caused by the spirally twisted bacterium Treponema pallidum that affects many body organs and parts, including the genitals, brain, skin, and nervous tissue, and Chlamydia, which can cause infertility, chronic pain, or a tubal pregnancy if left untreated. Many diseases can be contracted with oral and sexual intercourse. Oral sex is not safe and you still can catch certain diseases in your mouth.Love can be a cruel emotion. Let you child know that just because they feel strongly towards another person, it does not mean that their feeling are mutual. Sex can be the only issue with the other person; he or she could be out to use you for it. Help them to understand that if they are not willing to wait for the right time, then that person might not be such a good influence on them.Motherhood is a hard job; a child simply cannot raise a child. They have plenty of time to grow up, get their education and then they can decide if being a parent is what they want. Life is so good; they should be able to enjoy it while they can without any setbacks. Sex is a way of two people showing their love for one another. It is not something to take lightly. Giving up your virginity is a very important choice and you should not be coursed into it.Trust and communication is so crucial to you and your child’s relationship. Your child being able to come to you and talk to you about the most important things that are going on in their life is so necessary. Knowing how your child feels and what is going on in their life without being too concerned, makes an open and great relationship between you two.If you think that your child might go that way, then talking to them about birth control is an option. Sometimes talking does some good, but not enough and they still might end up having intercourse. Just be safe, let them know about birth control methods to prevent pregnancy. It’s hard I know, but you rather educate them and be safe about it, then to do nothing at all.Good luck, being a parent is hard work. We want the best for our babies, sometimes it is hard to separate the day they were born from the day that they became adults. We wish our children could stay the cute adorable babies that they once were. They have to grow up, there might be drama, rebellion, and a lot of hair in the sink, but in the end, we love unconditionally and appreciate every single moment.

 

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Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children

November 21st, 2009

You may recall that several years ago President George W. Bush appointed Joe Mcllhaney, a well-known advocate of abstinence- only programs, advisor to the CDC. In April 2002, Mcllhaney testified to Congress that there was no evidence that comprehensive sexuality education programs are “successful at all” — a year after Doug Kirby’s report for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy documented this success. Now Mcllhaney has written a book. Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our

This article was reviewed by Marty Klein. PhD. an AASECTcertified sex therapist living in California. He can he reached at mk@sexed.org.

You may recall that several years ago President George W. Bush appointed Joe Mcllhaney, a well-known advocate of abstinence- only programs, advisor to the CDC. In April 2002, Mcllhaney testified to Congress that there was no evidence that comprehensive sexuality education programs are “successful at all” — a year after Doug Kirby’s report for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy documented this success. Now Mcllhaney has written a book. Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children, claiming that science supports why sex is had for unmarried people, especially adolescents.

Freda McKissic Bush is his willing accomplice, a hoard member of Mcllhaney’s Medical Institute for Sexual Health, and a memher of lUish’s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS, which favored ideology over established knowledge in biology, psychology, sociology, and economics. Hooked is a skillfully produced, emotionally manipulative, political tract. All sexuality educators will benefit from familiarity with it, because it’s a virtual primer of the tactics used by abstinence- only and sex-negative policy-makers, including:

• The sex-as-a-problem paradigm. The resulting policy goal is to minimize this problem, rather than finding ways to help young people celebrate their sexuality or use it for personal growth.

• Zero discussion of decision-making skills other than urging a simple refusal to engage in erotic activity.

• The recurring use of the word “children” to refer to biological adults who happen to be minors (i.e., age 17), or unmarried. Policy discussions about sexuality that treat 12-year-olds and 20-year-olds as a single category are based in ideology, not social sciences.

• A scientific-sounding discussion of “chemicals released in the brain during sex” which “can become addictive.” This rather old news is presented as a scientific “breakthrough,” without any mention of similar neuro-chemical activity that accompanies sports, eating, singing, and other pleasurable behavior.

• There is no discussion about how young Americans’ bodies now mature in ways for which society is unprepared (150 years ago, onset of puberty and age of first marriage were almost concurrent; that has changed dramatically). Similarly, tbere is no acknowledgement that society is responsible for most young people’s sexual difficulties by stimulating them sexually (as consimiers) and giving them enormous autonomy (privacy, cell phones, etc.), while deliberately withholding the information they need to handle the inevitable feelings and situations.

Sex for some young people will be negative and even damaging. There are good reasons to guide kids away from too-early sexual activity, along with other activities for which they are not yet prepared developmentally. The “reefer madness” approach of this book equips neither parents nor young people with the positive attitudes and communication skills they need to understand and shape sexual decision-making.

This book is a desperate cry from frightened, angry people who are more interested in the purity of their own ideology and religious visions than they are in actual young people. They are, in fact “hooked” on something far worse than the ”addictive” brain chemicals that help make life worth living.

For more on latest research and news visit:
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Television Makes Sex Acceptable To Teens

November 21st, 2009

Every year over 15 million Americans are diagnosed with an STD (sexually transmitted disease). The STD problem has reached epidemic proportions in the United States and around the world – and teens top the list.
Ever wonder why? Is it because public school sex education has failed to protect our younger generations and because television makes sex acceptable to teens. The answer is clearly yes.
Popular television programs and even commercials teaches teens that any lifestyle is acceptable as long as it feels good, and or that everyone else is doing it.
What television doesn’t tell teens is how quickly it can go bad for them. The success and appeal of television is based on its promise of instant gratification: You deserve whatever you want-now! Television doesn’t teach teens that you always have to pay the piper; every action has a consequence.
Sady, many teens are left to learn the hard lessons on their own, one consequence at a time. Today’s television networks send the message that premarital sex leads to happiness, fulfillment, and joy. Popular programming portrays premarital sex as an important part of a teen’s preparation for adulthood. And because no one in questions this, it’s accecpted as fact.
Recent research shows that a majority of young people will have had a sexual encounter before marriage. In fact, 1-5 five girls will have first sexual intercourse for the first time by they time they are 15.
Television continues to make sex acceptable to teens; teens continue to get pregnant and contract STDs; and the nation continues to ignore a problem that has become an epidemic.
The fact is that concerned parents are in a war to save their children’s lives and self-respect. Part of the problem parents face today is that as a society we have not yet confronted the reality of what’s going on. The school system is often an active agent in selling a sexually promiscuous lifestyle to teenagers due to the liberal slant of the public education system.
Statistics show beyond a shadow of a doubt that sex education has failed to reduce teen pregnancies and STDs. Our response to the failure of sex education has been to do more of the same.
The reality is that there is only one real way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in teens and that is abstinence from premarital sex.
We need to address this epidemic as a nation, but parents can’t wait for politicians to carry the ball; your teens are at risk today. As a parent, you have a duty and a right to protect your child:
• You have a right to demand that your child be taught the importance of abstinence in his or her sex education class.
• You have a right to take your teen out of sex education class and provide home schooling in this area if you object to what your teen is being taught in school.
The best way for parents to protect their children from STDs-and from the influence of television-is by modeling a socially and ethically responsible lifestyle.
Research shows that positive parental guidance is the No. 1 factor in a teenager’s decision to abstain from premarital sex.

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